Sunday, February 21, 2010

I've been occupied

I admit, I have not blogged of our recent family fun, because I tend to blog in the evening after the boys are in bed, and before I drag myself to the kitchen to do the dishes.

But you see, the Winter Olympics are on! And, while I try to ration the use of television in our home, all bets are off go the Winter Olympics. So yeah, there is little blogging to be had. (I'll admit, the only reason I'm blogging this evening is because it is Ice Dancing, which, I don't know, is just too frilly for me.) I am glued to the tube these two weeks. Living, enjoying, even envying the sports, in sound bites and heavily edited media hype. Oh well, it is as close as I can get.

The boys had a chance to watch a bit of the figure skating the other day, which has resulted in hours since spinning and leaping in the living room.

I miss it. I miss living in the Sierras. I miss the snow and the sports. It's funny how you walk away from something thinking "Good Riddance" only to realize what you really needed was a break and perspective. Well, I have plenty of perspective, but no way back to it.

I was a skier. A cross country skier. A hardcore one. A young skier with aspirations. I love to watch these athletes in these Olympics living a dream I dared to dream myself once.

It's funny. So many of the athletes are so very young. Some of them show great poise and mental toughness. Some are nervous, unsure, or have a self confidence that is, I don't know, unattractive--too self-y. As I watch, my "perspective" keeping me company on the living room floor, I think how much I would like to have had the life experience and, dare I say wisdom, that I now have during the years of training and competition. I think I would have enjoyed it more sincerely, lived it more fully, and fought through the tough parts more steadfastly.

sigh.

Skiing is something that, living in our rural, coastal area, I don't know if I'll ever get back to. I'm lucky to get to the snow once every couple of years. But there is another sport I've loved. Loved because of the mental space it allows, the rhythm it imparts, the terrain that is... well, like balm. Cross country running.

I may not have the body or the level of fitness I once had. I may not have the time to block out for hours of training. But I have perspective. And, as a very busy mom, the desperate need for solace. So, I've taken it up again, and it's going very well. With any luck and some perseverance, I'll do a race this summer.

Ha! You know, as a mommy, when I am out jogging and my legs are burning (and my thighs are bouncing!), I just start to think of labor and child birth, and I know beyond any doubt that if I can do that, then I can jog another mile easy!

Ah, perspective!

2 comments:

Amy said...

lol well said!!

katie said...

Cross country skiing. It does seem so far off. And I actually still live in a place that I would have access to it, if other things, like three fun little girls, didn't occupy so much of my time. Good for you for running. That is good perspective. I've enjoyed biking now, and I can do it with all three girls. The only problem is all the snow on the ground right now:) I did get out my skis and ski around the courtyard the other day with two girls watching and one on my back falling asleep to the rhythm of my movements. Brought back a lot of fun memories, some of which you are a part of, Kim! Thanks for the post.

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