Monday, March 29, 2010

From a Good Night Kiss

I was checking the boys one last time before heading off to bed myself. Re-covered them both, and, as always, hoisted Charlie into a more "normal" looking sleeping position (you know, instead of feet up by head, or top half of body dangling off the mattress and bottom in the air).

Giving each a kiss on the forehead, I had to pause by Charlie's side. Look at him. He is a child that is just hard to pin point. Sometimes I wonder, "What IS his age?" How do I relate to this little boy, who has been in our lives for four beautiful years. When I tuck him in at night, I still feel like I am kissing a sweet baby on the cheek. His face is so young, his body so small, his mind to tender.

And you should see how preposterous a sight it is to strap a back-pack on his back during the week to send him off to the school bus. Passers bye must think it odd to see a dad loading such a small child onto such a big, yellow rig, heading off for school.

I don't mind it. It is just intruiging to me. Will, when he is 15 or 18, I still look in on him at night and see such a sweet little boy. Will he ever grow up, at least in my eyes? Time goes so slow with him. He is very clever, and much more mature than Calvin in many ways, but in others, still so, oh, I don't know, unspoiled, or as yet undefined, or just less informed? It is hard to say, because I don't want to make less his effort or inquisitiveness. He is just a different kind of boy to raise. But, I am very glad to have been given the chance.


Kelly said...

Kim, you are not alone! Landon is 13 months old and 15lbs. 5 oz.. He is such a peanut. People are floored when we tell them how old he is. I always wonder at what point will he look his age. These questions have all come into play as we are transitioning Landon from the infant room to the toddler room at school so that he will be with his (age appropriate) peers. I'm so glad you wrote this post...I can so relate to it:) I guess we just enjoy their "smallness" as long as we can:) Time does not stand still. BTW, your boys are adorable:)

Amy said...

This is so beautifully written. I completely feel the same way about my Abby. She'll always be my baby in some way even though she continues to grow and mature into a cute little preschooler.

This is what I love about blogging friends of children with Ds. Its fun to know that someone out there looks on their sweet little ones with these same thoughts.

We ARE blessed aren't we?

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