This pregnancy wasn't a surprise, like the boys were. It was planned... Sort of.
We've always known we would like more than two children. We have various rational reasons for this, not the least of which is: Look at our boys! WHY wouldn't we want to make more children when it seems to work out SO WELL for us? They are breathtaking.
So we had talked over the fall and winter months about when we might want to stop avoiding pregnancy. We had some reasons why it was impractical to have more. For example, money. We just don't have much of that stuff. We do fine. In fact, we trust God completely that He will always provide for us. And, He has. Completely and fully. We may not own our home, but we have a safe and lovely cottage to raise our boys until that day comes. We may not drive new cars, but we have sturdy older vehicles, and a brother-in-law mechanic who takes good care of us. We don't shop at Macy's but we live in a unique area where to shop there is sort of detestable, and buying used and being creative is preferred. We can't always afford to buy organic, but we grow our own organics for free. Indeed we are blessed with plenty and with wholesomeness.
Then, there were the reasons why having another baby sooner than later was preferable. One is my health. There are things I cannot do to treat certain health conditions I have, through natural methods or otherwise, while I am pregnant or breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is SO important to me. Some of the very conditions of which I suffer are reduced in people who were breastfed. I want my boys to have the sturdy immune foundations of breastfed people. So, with the boys being just 2 years apart in age, I have been either pregnant or breastfeeding or both for 5 years. That is five years that my own health journey has taken a backseat so my boys could have the front seat. So, in some ways, having another child sooner than later would mean less years before I can work on my own health in earnest. (Now, there are other health benefits to a woman by simply going through pregnancy and lactation. My risk of breast cancer is significantly reduced now, for example, for having breastfed my sons. And my mental health and self image for having given life to our boys before, during, and after birth is through the roof. I am so grateful. To say this journey has been worthwhile, despite my health challenges, is a monumental understatement.)
We came to a point in February where we just did not know what the best route was for our own "family planning"--something new and unfamiliar to us as our boys were not planned at all. So, we literally flipped a guitar pick. We decided if it landed on "Fender" (the inscription on one side of the pick) then we would go for it. We would try for a baby that month. If it landed on the blank side, we would think about it for a while more. Well, it landed on "Fender".
Of course the very next day we had the bright idea that we could certainly wait. We could wean Calvin (we had planned to wean him in the Spring anyway). I could work on some health stuff for a while. Then we could think about pregnancy in a few months. There is no reason all our children need to be evenly spaced. "Whew!" we thought, "That was a close one!" Ha! God had other plans, and where we thought we had narrowly escaped our biology, God stepped in and gave us this child.
Startling, but not a surprise.
To be continued...
I write this story, which is certainly more than you cared to know, because it is a story of redemption. Conception is only the beginning, and I will continue to add to it this week. I want this new little Robinson to know how healing their little life has been to our family, even if it started out as a coin flip.