Saturday, November 13, 2010

While We Wait...

We have no firm middle name for this baby, but at this point are leaning toward "Late-for-Dinner". Yes, we are still waiting for our sweet bundle to decide to arrive. Officially, he is a week overdue. According to when I was *sure* he would come, it's been more like a month. A month of waking up every day thinking "Darn. No Baby." (As if I would simply find him in our bed in the morning.) I admit, after having two boys so graciously arrive before their due dates, this one is, hmmm... refining my patience. Oh, but he will be worth it.

Calvin putting on the fetoscope to check the baby's heart rate at our home visit a few weeks ago.

You know, we have been blessed to an extreme with our boys, our pregnancies, our births, and the support for women and families in our, well, "Hippy" Northern California Town. This will be our second home birth, and we have always only received support for our family decision. I feel so cared for and respected. I feel so much confidence in the hands that are helping us to bring our son into our arms. Our home birth midwives are excellent practitioners who care very well for my body, for our family as a whole, for our emotional well being. Whenever we have an issue we are able to dial them up directly and receive on the spot counsel about what to do. When I was having preterm labor worries, I was so grateful to have their advice and care so at-the-ready. And now as we navigate all the feelings that come with unexpectedly having to wait so long for our babe, they are there to walk us through it, and to encourage us greatly. We are very blessed indeed.

I've also felt frustration with the end of this pregnancy. Lots of small discomforts. My parents came two weeks ago to help after I had injured the front joint in my pelvis. I was having a hard time walking, let alone caring for the boys. Their availability and help was invaluable. And between all their service to our family, giving me a break from "kid-wrangling" and chores, and a timely visit to the chiropractor, I have all but healed from the injury. Still not taking any long hikes (as I would like in order to jostle this content baby out), but I can walk, and I can get dressed, and I can clean house, and play with the boys again. Unfortunately, baby did not come during the time they could be here, and now they have left. I feel sad they did not get to meet him, yet hoping they will be able to make it up for his debut as "Baby Jesus" during the Christmas Service at church. :)

Charlie's turn with the fetoscope.

I've been thinking a lot about waiting. About what it means to "be on the alert, for you do not know which day your Lord is coming." (Matt24:42) (Pregnancy is full of little object lessons for faith.) Of course for a woman busy making her "nest", being prepared--on alert--means keeping the house clean, organizing everything (and I mean everything!) in order to make space for a new little person, preparing ones heart for the work of labor and birth, and preparing the family for coming adjustments. For a Christian, being prepared is also full of physical work and heart work. We work on our hearts, seeking God's will daily, and then we live it out in our lives as we work with out hands to serve God, our families, our neighbors, our communities. It has been interesting to so obviously be continually preparing for our son's arrival (which involves a lot of repetition with a longer wait: re-preparing the home as things fall out of order, re-preparing my heart as it drifts toward disappointment or anxiety), and to wonder each day as I nest and re-nest how I am also making myself prepared for the day of the LORD. It is a continual work before us.

Calvin helping the midwife take Mommy's blood pressure.

Of course, some of my waiting has not been so gracefully filled of heavenly thought. Some days I simply awake to a feeling of depression. I am still pregnant. Surely, I will be pregnant forever... Please, Lord, please let this baby come soon! And so forth. The baby area in our bedroom has been ready for so long I am having to dust it off as it continues to go unused. It's felt like a long wait, and I do wonder just how much longer. Sometimes I'm at peace. And sometimes peace feels so far from me.

Anyway, these are just a few of the rambly things on my mind as we wait it out. Really this is a win/win situation. No matter when he comes, we are having a baby! Such a beautiful blessing for us all. He WILL come, and at this point we can safely say it will likely be soon.


Anonymous said...

Kim, I really ejoyed your post. I have been muttering agaianst the entropy in my life and reading your thoughts on preparing and re-preparing your heart rings so true to what I am learning right now.

Cindy said...

This is my first time on your blog.

Congratulations on your baby! I'll be praying that your little bundle arrives soon!

Lisa said...

Thanks Kim, for sharing these beautiful thoughts. Praying for you as you get closer each day to meeting your baby!

Sean and Lindsey Thomas said...

Kim I love your blog and am praying for you and baby!

Sean and Lindsey Thomas said...

Praying for you guys Kim! Exciting times!
love lindsey

Karien Prinlsoo said...

Kim, I'm wondering if your little man has arrived yet? Thinking, maybe because of you "absence" he is there and you've got your hands full. It is 14:00 in South Africa. We have an overcast sky with thick clouds, as if the earth is holding its breath for a wonderful moment...with us , the family waiting on the announcement of our niece, Amy who should have been born at 13:00 en now, at this moment, on the birth of my cousins daughter, Carlene, who might have ds. It is a cousin whom I only met yesterday....and now we wait and I think of you! Many Blessings and hope to hear soon about your newest blessing in your family.

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