(Miles snags toy from Calvin.)
Mommy: Miles is our little opportunist, isn't he?
Calvin: What's an Opera-Tuna?
Daddy: And opp-or-tun-ist is a person who tries to get what they want when they have a chance...
Calvin: ...and sings?
Daddy: Calvin, it's time to go potty and get your jammies on, please.
Calvin: What? I can't hear you. My ears are too small.
Daddy: hmm... Nice try.
Calvin: Mom, who is that?
Mommy: That's Charlie Brown.
Calvin: No! I'm the brown one! Charlie is hazel.
Mommy: You mean your eyes are brown?
Calvin: Yeah. The cartoon is called "Calvin Brown and Snoopy".
Mommy: So, I guess the other one is "Charlie and Hobbs".
Calvin on Cops and Robbers:
"Daddy, are robbers nocturnal?"
Calvin informing Charlie about death:
Calvin: Charlie, people die when they stop living.
Charlie: Oh... I see...
Calvin: Mommy, why am I a very fast runner, but Charlie is very strong?
Mommy: Because we all have things that are our strengths.
Calvin: What are strengths?
Mommy: Something we are good at. All people have different strengths.
Calvin: Well, Daddy's grandpa Charles' strength is being old!
(So old he is with Jesus, I might add!)
Upon listening to "Jungle Boogie" for the first time, Calvin wondered,
"Why do we have to 'get down'."