Tuesday, April 3, 2012

What We're Up To

Oh what terrible neglect of a blog!  We are here.  We're kickin'.  Humming right along.

Our family has been in the midst of big changes, faced with big decisions.  In a way, we've really drawn inward in this time, close to one another, lots of talking things through, lots of prayer.  We left a church, we laid aside some big responsibilities, we're making decisions about school for Charlie as he heads to kindergarten in the fall, we're mapping out career decisions for Raymond, and it is all very big, wonderful, nerve-wracking stuff.  We know God has brought us to this point... we are SO glad for His leading... and yet I still find it so hard to keep moving forward without a map in my hand.  Sometimes we have a plan laid out in front of us, sometimes we go on faith, not even knowing where we will find ourselves.  That is where Raymond and I are.  I think I look at this blank computer screen, empty as my idea of where we are going, and I just can't bring myself to write these things out.  Everything is up in the air, it seems, and no matter how much I fight against the feeling of being plucked out of the soil, roots dangling in the air, there is really nothing I can do at all to rush the Will of God for our family.  He has a plan.  I feel as if we've received hints of it, little reassurances to trust.  It is so hard to just trust though.  It is so much easier to say I trust, meanwhile busying myself with contingency plans... you know?

Besides all these cryptic descriptions of what is going on, we are well.  We are enjoying a time of less responsibility... it feels right for this moment in our lives.  We are doing a lot of attending to each-other as spouses, and as parents to our children.  Figuring things out as our family grows.  Finding ways to enjoy ourselves more, make things simpler, laugh more with these crazy boys, be attentive to their upbringing in ways that seemed too in-depth, too difficult with our prior level of community involvement.  It feels like we are redefining our thresh-hold for life, redefining what fits with this glorious blessing of children, and if God would have us add outside commitments, ministries, activities, we will at a later time, all the while with a more guarded approach to what out family can withstand and still thrive.

We did make one decision.  School for Charlie.  We chose to have him attend the elementary school in our town.  It feels like the right choice for him.  He is becoming such a clever guy... just this past week tracing his name all by himself for the first time.  The school has a lot of extra-curricular activities which Charlie can attend with a 'regular' class without an aide.  We will have him in a special day class for reading, writing, math, OT, and ST, and he will hopefully be able to join the regular class for music, PE, art, visual performance, library, computers, story-time, and perhaps geography.  I know once he settles in he will enjoy his experience there.  The school community is accustom to integrating students with special needs.  We chose the school because of that reason, and because it has lots of extra-curricular enrichment activities, and is in our neighborhood so we can be as involved as possible.  Of course, this is contingent on other things happening or not in our lives... but at least one decision is made, and with peace in our hearts I might add. 

Well, if you have one spare minute at the computer, might you lift us up in prayer right now?  All we want is God's Will for our family, and we specifically need peace in the midst of this and a level of attentiveness that we might hear Him and follow.  Pray that we simply be blinded to doubt.  And listen, if you have a prayer request, will you tell me so I can pray also for you?  Thanks, friends.



Anonymous said...

I'm definitely praying. I know how hard it can be to wait. and wait. and wait... knowing that God is leading, but not knowing in which direction. If ever you need Proverbs 3:5,6, it is now! He WILL direct your path!
Grandma Alice

fitztufts said...

God be with you in the midst of decisions. He is faithful!

Lisa said...

Thanks for taking time to share. Will be praying. I'm the same way with crafting contingency plans! It's hard to trust when you feel like you're dangling.

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