This Calvinism really needs a cartoon strip to show Mama's looks of disapproval combine with Daddy's look of why-are-you-doing-this-to-me during this little family conversation:
Calvin: Daddy... Why do you call Mommy a pig?
Daddy: What?! I don't call Mommy a pig!
Mommy: (Hand moves to hip. Eyebrow raises.)
Calvin: I hear you call Mommy a little pig. Why?
Daddy: Calvin, I have NO IDEA what you are talking about.
Calvin: Ya, Daddy. I heard you! You ALWAYS call Mommy a little pig.
Daddy: Oh ya? When? Tell me how.
Calvin: You call her "Babe", Daddy.
Daddy: (Relieved) Oh... Calvin, I'm not calling her a pig... it is just a nice name people call each other when they love each other.